Be My Valentine

Some of our favorite humorous valentines…

• I love you because you're the only one who gets my jokes…
• O.K., so you don't. But at least you're nice enough to do the fake laugh.
• It would be grand, to hold your hand,
  and walk in the sand of an exotic land…
• Or we could stay home and watch TV, which doesn't rhyme but is more likely.
• Happy Valentine's Day from the bottom of my stomach…
• It's a lot bigger than my heart.
• It's Valentine's Day, and my cat knitted a sweater for you…
• Well, maybe knitted is too strong a word for you. "Coughed up into a big, wearable ball that she's been saving for you" is closer to the truth.
• You're not my Valentine just because we like the same things…
• We also dislike the same people.
• I love you more today than yesterday…
• Yesterday you kinda got on my nerves.
• I was going to give you money for Valentine's Day…
• But Mall security yanked me out of the fountain before I could scoop up a respectable amount.
• For your Valentine gift, if I could, I would get rid of world hunger, then war…
• then that bologna with the olives in it that you hate.
• How Do I Love Thee?
• I don't know, I guess I just have a lot of patience and a good sense of humor.