Riddles

I hid the answers, so click on the riddle to display of the answer. Look for the for some of my favorites. What to add a riddle? Go to the feedback page and send me your riddle. I usually get it posted within the day. Riddles marked with have been added since I last updated the page.

Wendy's Kids Meal

• What did the sea say to the sand?
  • Nothing, it just waved.
• What did one eye say to the other?
  • Just between you and me, there's something that smells.
• How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
  • Hold it's nose.
• What did the shy pebble say?
  • I wish I were a little boulder.
• What did the buffalo say when his son left for school?
  • Bison.

Esther Missico

• How do you top a car?
  • You tep on the brake, tupid!

Cousin Jake Neiber

• What would an angry man say to a few racket players?
  • Keep the racket down you racket players.

Cousin Laura Szmania

• What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
  • Open toed.

Samantha "Sam" and Elizabeth "Lizzy" Sanborn

• What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
  • A stick.
• Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
  • Cause he had no guts.
• Why did the turtle cross the road?
  • To get to the shell station.
• Why did the cat go to the beach?
  • To find sandy claws (Santi Claus).
• What invention allows you to see through walls?
  • A window.
• What kind of shampoo does mountains use?
  • Hidden Boulders.
• Why did the hen send her son to the store to buy grain?
  • She wanted to pay by chick.
• What kind of cookie bites?
  • A ginger snap.
• What do you do when there is a twenty thousand-pound hippopotamus in your bed?
  • Sleep somewhere else.
• Where did Sylvester Stallone go on his vacation?
  • The Rocky Mountains.
• Where did the doctor go on her vacation?
  • To Ill-inois.
• What did the dog say to the flea?
  • "Don't bug me!"
• What is another name for a cat burglar?
  • A purr snatcher.

Susan Rivera

• What happen to the grape when he got stepped on? 
  • He let out a little wine.
• What do astronauts eat at noon?
  • Launch.
• How do you catch a unique rabbit?
  • Unique up on it.
• How do you catch a tame rabbit?
  • Tame way, unique up on it.
• How do crazy people go through the forest?
  • They take the psycho path.
• How do you get holy water?
  • You boil the hell out of it.
• What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
  • Dam!
• What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
  • Polaroids.
• What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
  • Nacho cheese.
• What do you call Santa's helpers?
  • Subordinate clauses.
• What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
  • Quatro sinko.
• What do you get from a pampered cow?
  • Spoiled milk.
• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
  • Frostbite.
• What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
  • A nervous wreck.
• What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
  • Anyone can roast beef.
• Where do you find a dog with no legs?
  • Right where you left him.
• Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
  • Because they have big fingers.
• Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
  • Because it scares the dog.
• What kind of coffee was served on the titanic?
  • Sanka.
• What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
  • The location of the dirt bag.
• Why did pilgrims' pants always fall down?
  • Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
• What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
  • A bad golfer goes, whack, damn! a bad skydiver goes damn! whack.
• What do you call skydiving lawyers?
  • Skeet.
• How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
  • Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.
• Where do bees go on their day off?
  • The wax museum.
• What's the best way to prevent fish from smelling?
  • Plug their noses!
• Why was the lamp flunking his classes?
  • He wasn't very bright.
• What animal should you never play cards with?
  • A cheetah.
• What kind of lettuce did they serve on the titanic?
  • Iceberg!
• Why did the baby cookie cry?
  • Because him mom was a wafer so long!
• Why did the baby strawberry cry?
  • Because his parents were in a jam!
• How do you repair a broken tomato?
  • With tomato paste!
• Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
  • Because they'd break out!
• How do you make sure that no one steals your bagel?
  • You put lox on it.
• What do people from Texas call sushi?
  • Bait.
• What vegetable can you throw away the outside, cook the inside, eat the outside, and throw away the inside?
  • Corn.
• What do you call a hundred rabbits in a row taking a step backwards?
  • A receding hare line.

Others

• Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?
  • He was trying to find Pooh!
• What do you call someone who hunts corn?
  • A cornstalker
• What kind of mail is hard to read at night?
  • Blackmail
• What do you find behind a bowl factory?
  • A bowling alley
• What do you call the big dipper in jail?
  • A con-stellation
• Why did the fish join a band?
  • He was a bass player
• Why did the tree growl?
  • It lost its bark
• Why don't Aliens have doorbells on their spacecrafts?
  • They're trying to win the NO-BELL Prize!
• Why did the Alien cow land in Hollywood?
  • He wanted to be a Mooooovie Star!
• Where's the best place to hold an All-Star Game?
  • In a planetarium
• What does clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop, clop?
  • An Amish drive-by shooting.
• What did the picture say to the wall?
  • "I've been framed."
• Why shouldn't you tell a secret to a pig?
  • Because he is a squealer.
• How many worms make a foot?
  • Twelve inchworms.
• What kind of bow can't be tied?
  • A rainbow.
• What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right hand?
  • Your right elbow.
• What has a foot on each side and one in the middle?
  • A yardstick.
• What goes through water but doesn't get wet?
  • A ray of light.
• What is pointed in one direction and headed in the other?
  • A Pin.
• What goes around a yard but doesn't move?
  • A fence.
• What is a Mexican weather report?
  • Chili today, hot tamale.
• What insect gets A's in English?
  • A spelling bee.
• What did the fly say to the flypaper?
  • "I'm stuck on you."
• Why is the letter B hot?
  • Because it makes oil boil.
• What did one wall say to the other?
  • "I'll meet you at the corner."
• What kind of table has no legs?
  • A multiplication table.
• What is Dracula's Favorite sport?
  • Bat-minton (badminton).
• How can you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator?
  • The door won't shut.
• How is a bell obedient?
  • It sounds off only when it is told (tolled).
• Why are vampires unpopular?
  • Because they are a pain in the neck.
• What travels around the world but stays in a corner?
  • A stamp.
• What do you call an alligator's helper?
  • Gatorade.
• What is a jittery sorceress?
  • A twitch.
• How does a hot dog speak?
  • Frankly.
• What is Count Dracula's favorite snack?
  • A fangfurter (frankfurter).
• What did one shrub say to the other shrub?
  • "Am I bushed."
• How do chickens start a race?
  • From scratch.
• What is black and yellow and goes zzub, zzub?
  • A bee going backwards.
• Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
  • It ran out of juice.
• What is a fast duck?
  • A quick quack.
• Why wasn't the elephant allowed on the airplane?
  • Because his trunk was too big to fit under the seat.
• What did one grape say to the other grape?
  • "If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be in this jam."
• What do you get if your sheep studies karate?
  • A lamp chop.
• What kind of ant can count?
  • An accountant.
• What newspaper do cows read?
  • The Daily Moos.
• Why did the doctor give up his practice?
  • Because he lost his patience (patients).
• How do you know that peanuts are fattening?
  • Have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
• What kind of animal needs oil?
  • A mouse. It squeaks.
• Why did the farmer take the cow to the vet?
  • Because she was so mooo-dy.
• What has fifty legs but can't walk?
  • Half a centipede.
• What is the healthiest kind of water?
  • Well water.
• Where do animals go when they lose their tails?
  • To a retail store.
• What kind of animal needs oil?
  • A mouse. It squeaks.
• What is a crazy pickle?
  • A daffy dill.
• What do ghosts eat for lunch?
  • Boo-loney (bologna) sandwiches.
• How are bad boys and a canoe alike?
  • They both get paddled.
• Why do windows squeak when you open them?
  • Because they have panes (pains).
• What nuts give you a cold?
  • Cachoo (cashew) nuts.
• What fur do you get from a skunk?
  • As fur (far) as possible.
• Where do pencils come from?
  • From Pennsylvania.
• What kind of lace do you find in a jewelry store?
  • A necklace
• Where do trees keep money?
  • At their local branch
• Where do cowboys boots go in the summer
  • Boot camp
• What is a tree's favorite drink?
  • Root beer
• Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other bees?
  • Because they kept droning on and on!
• What do you call a bee born in May?
  • A maybe!
• What kind of bee can't be understood?
  • A mumble bee!
• Where do bees keep their money?
  • In a honey box!
• Why do bees have sticky hair?
  • Because of their honey combs!
• What TV station do bees watch?
  • Bee bee c one!
• What did the one bee say to a naughty bee?
  • Bee-hive yourself!
• Why did the bees go on strike?
  • Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers!
• How do you catch a rabbit?
  • Hide behind a tree and cry like a carrot.